Home at last

Newton discovered a long time ago that objects tend to maintain their states of rest or motion in the absence of forces acting to the contrary. Likewise, it is not so easy to get an idle blog up and running again. In any case, I have now returned to the green fields and buzzing mosquitoes of the Soga area, Batu Pahat; home is where the heart is, aneurisms and all.

Had a brief sojourn in London at the end of second year - between May and July - to travel a bit and experience the British summer. Among the highlights - almost getting lost and/or killed while trekking alone in heavy rain on a forested isle outside Berlin, sweltering in the London Underground (and above ground, too) during a dry British heatwave, and of course watching England lose on penalties in a packed London pub =P

My flight back on Emirates Airlines went considerably better than expected - as "Official Partner" of the World Cup 2006 they were able to let us catch reruns of the previous day's footballing action, which off-set my serious error in booking my flight for the evening of the World Cup Final. As it was, I managed to catch The Head Butt and other assorted antics aboard the Airbus A330 from Dubai to Malaysia, as well as the 3rd Place Playoff on the considerably more sophisticated Boeing 777 from London to Dubai the evening before.

The odd thing about Emirates is that they sound pretty tough on regulations ("Maximum one item of hand baggage including laptop") ("Check-in at least 3 hours before departure") but they were really quite lepak when I went for the flight. First they let me check in 90 mins before departure time (stuck train at Hatton Cross and long queue at counter ... not my fault anyway), then they cheerfully tagged and waved on both my cabin bag and laptop, which came to about double the official weight limit anyway. What a cool airline. Plus, they're cheaper too (real reason for switching). Though one wonders why they bother publishing such fussy-sounding rules.

Dubai International Airport is a posh-looking duty-free haven, artificial palm trees and all; the good thing is the terminal layout is pretty straightforward so no risk of getting lost. 3 hours' transit was more than enough to get hold of some Dirhams (very P.Ramlee-ish) and grab a pack of Arabian dates stuffed with almonds. Good stuff.

Have now returned to Batu Pahat; good to see family and friends again, and to ride a good old motorcycle once more. Town hasn't changed much except for a proliferation of food courts in the Cheng Siu area; Batu Pahat folk must have quite an appetite to generate that much demand! Inflation has pretty much taken its toll - nasi bariani is now from RM6 plus 5% Government tax so that's a far cry from the days when I stopped my bicycle by the stall on the way home from school and got the stuff at RM3 a pack.

Now for 2 months of rest and relaxation at home. Theoretically like that-lah.

It's just ...

The following thought-provoking post appeared on my Friendster bulletin board recently:

Month one
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak

Useful Market Terminology

So here it is - it's currently the frantic late-winter season for penultimate-year lawyer-wannabes to go around the City attending interviews for 2006 'summer placements' (read: well-paid office boy/girlship). Having been to one or two such "commercially-oriented" interviews and having heard of others who have endured the same ordeal, perhaps it would be a good idea to consider some of the more complex terminology (read: utter jargon) that one might fairly expect to encounter on such 'friendly' conversations:

Diversification : When Ah Seng has been repairing bicycles for 20 years and decides to start repairing motorcycles as well

Flotation : Something you do when your ferry sinks and you happen to find some loose plank in the water. Also - something Leonardo DiCaprio failed to do in Titanic

Initial Public Offer (IPO) : When Ah Lian receives a fresh batch of veggies first thing in the morning and calls out "satu kilo dua ringgitttttt !!"

Stock Options : When Kedai Runcit Linggam runs out of tomato ketchup and has to decide whether to order Kimball or order Maggi

Money Laundering : What happens when you accidentally leave some cash in the trousers you stuff into the washing machine

Recapitalisation : When you drive all the way to downtown KL only to find that the government department you want has moved to Putrajaya

Market Recapitalisation : When Pasar Awam Batu Pahat moves from Jalan Mohd.Akil to Jalan Shahbandar

Securitisation : When Minah hires Mr.Singh to guard her jewellery shop

Due Diligence : When your SPM exam is coming up and you memorise everything in your Pelangi reference book as well as your friend's Sasbadi reference book

Market Research : When you survey 6 veggie stalls before concluding that Ah Lian has the cheapest garlic on offer

Partnership : What you get when you tell a girl "I love you" and she says "I love you too"

Limited Liability : When the fish fillet you fry turns out lousy and you blame it on "cheap Tesco food"

Franchise : When you want a business rival to "disappear" and you hire some illegal Indons to do it for you

Fragmentation : What happens when you accidentally drop your favourite glass

Asset stripping : What muggers routinely do at Underground platforms

Freezing order : When it is a cold rainy day and Cikgu Zamri goes "you haven't done your homework, go stand outside!!"

In receivership : The position of children and unmarried bachelors during Chinese New Year when angpows start going around

Just some idle thoughts of mine while on the way home =P


Wilson